


By Its Cover

by flammablehat



Series: Summerpornathon 2013 [7]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Accidental Sex, Books, Inanimate Object Porn, Intolerant Attitudes, Other, Pervertibles, Sex Magic, Team Gluttony, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 04:46:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flammablehat/pseuds/flammablehat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur was pretty sure physics didn't actually work this way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Its Cover

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my pervertibles square on my kink bingo card. Beta provided by the lovely and fabulous Sophie. 
> 
> The whole 'book of love' idea comes from [this Oglaf comic](http://oglaf.com/booklove/), though my link got wonked somewhere between gdocs and the original pthon challenge post and I didn't want to bother with trying to get it fixed while things were still anonymous. It should work now, though! If you've not read Oglaf I highly recommend it. Lots of funny stuff there.

Arthur’s shoulders hunched as his mother opened the front door. 

“Found your boy here throwing eggs at my house,” Balinor said, handing Arthur off by his collar. 

Ygraine’s face transformed from polite confusion to outrage. “He did _what_?”

“My lawn needs mowing. I’ll see you bright and early Saturday morning, Mr. Pendragon?” Balinor said, lifting one intense eyebrow. 

“Not a chance in he—”

“How does seven sound?” Ygraine interrupted, covering Arthur’s mouth. 

“Sounds just fine, Ms. DuBois,” Balinor smiled. 

“It’s Pendragon!” Arthur shouted after his broad, retreating back. Ygraine swatted him through the front door.

\---

“This has to stop, Arthur.” Ygraine rubbed at her forehead, weary. Arthur dropped his gaze to his feet.

“Little magic freak,” he muttered. 

“Excuse me?” Ygraine’s head snapped up. “What did you just say?” 

“He’s a freak!” Arthur said, too loud, too forceful. Ygraine reared back like she’d been slapped. And then Nimueh padded into the living room. Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “Father says magic corrupts.” 

Nimueh grinned, like she found him amusing. “Your father is biased, Arthur. Merlin’s done nothing to warrant your abuse.” 

“Yeah, unlike some people,” Arthur said. 

“Arthur James Pendragon!” Ygraine’s voice was severe. “That’s enough! You are grounded, young man.” 

“Fine!” Arthur said, not waiting to hear how long his sentence would last. His door was old and heavy and he slammed it hard enough to rattle the casing because his father wasn’t there to punish him for it anymore.

\---

He snuck out around midnight to raid the kitchen and then the library for something to read during his internment.

He snagged Sagan and Hitchens and Hawking, picturing his father’s approving smile. 

And then he saw the new book on Nimueh’s desk, still in plastic. He took that too, out of spite.

\---

He flicked on the lamp by his bed and slipped the book from its cellophane sleeve.

“ _The Book of Love_ ,” he read, snorting. Flipping it open to a random spot, he found an abstract picture of a mouth on the left-facing page that mirrored itself on the right. Arthur squinted at the etchings, then recoiled as they began to develop color and shape. The book twitched, leaping from his hands to scuttle down his body. 

He gasped, panicking, when two pairs of lips found his limp cock and balls and began to mouth over them. 

“Stop, stop!” he whispered, frantic, but the book had already sucked his cock in and he didn’t want to risk tugging it off. 

Then he realised the book had _sucked his cock in_ , was pulling at him through the fabric of his pants. His mouth fell open and he dropped back to his elbows, stiffening so fast it made him dizzy. The second mouth found his balls and tongued them firmly. 

“Oh, Christ,” Arthur said, and came in his shorts.

\---

He assumed he was safe when the book sat inert while he tugged off his soiled pants, but it flapped right back onto his crotch the minute his cock popped free.

Arthur stilled, breath shuddering out of him as the mouths suckled and hummed. 

He lasted longer the second go, letting his head drop back and rocking his hips up, the dry smell of old paper blending with his spunk while he bit back high, thin noises. 

He fucked out his second load with his hand pressed hard to the book’s spine. Arthur was pretty sure he heard it moan.

\---

The book fluttered to a new page. What Arthur saw made him feel faint.

He wondered what Hawking would think about the quantum mechanics involved in bending his dick into some separate dimension that was not, in fact, through the backside of the book. 

Arthur humped the tight little snatch he’d been given against the corner of his bed, hands clenching creases in the dampening pages.

\---

Nimueh found him passed out in bed the next morning. “Arthur,” she sighed, like the beginning of a conversation she really didn’t want to have.

Arthur’s knee accidentally nudged the book under his sheets, knocking it to the ground with a wet smack. 

Nimueh’s eyes widened. Arthur froze. 

“Um,” he said. 

“Did you—?” 

“Er. Well...”

“Arthur. That was a gift for Gaius and Alice’s wedding.” 

“Nimueh?” Ygraine called from down the hall. Arthur and Nimueh’s shoulders hunched at the same time, instinctively. 

They looked at each other. 

“I won’t tell her if you won’t,” Arthur said. 

Nimueh’s expression was shrewd. “Dishes. For a _month_. No complaints.”

“Alright.” Arthur nodded, wary. 

“Little pervert.” Nimueh smirked. 

Arthur’s answering grin surprised them both.


End file.
